A Little Tied Up
by XanderInkWaster
Summary: Started as a One-Shot and now is a series of one shots and my attempt at comedy writing. 1. Zach and Cammie are mad and blaming one another for their cover being blown. 2. Zach and Cammie are suspended over a large pit and wonder how they ever got in this spot. Disclaimer: I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**Thought I'd try a small One-Shot.**

'You kissed her. Don't you dare try and deny it,' Cammie raised her voice at Zach.

'Honey you completely misunderstood what you saw,' Zach defended.

'Oh what did I misunderstand huh? The part where you stuck your tongue in her mouth or the part you held her closely in your arms?' she questioned back, her tone sharp, it was clear she was in a bad mood.

'She kissed me.' Zach said and he felt her bump her chair against his. Both of them were sitting tied to two chairs back to back in their hotel suite. They were undercover and a recent fight between Cammie had seen to their cover being exposed and now they were... well a little tied up.

Cammie made a disapproving noise, she could just imagine that defensive expression his face pulled whenever she questioned him. She tried turning her head, but all she saw was his dark hair so she bumped her chair against his. 'Liar.'

'What? I'm not lying, besides, you're not so innocent in this matter either,' he said with a annoyed tone of his own.

'Excuse me?' Cammie asked him. 'How am I not innocent in this matter. I didn't kiss anyone.'

'Oh but you would have if I hadn't butted in on you and your...boyfriend.' There was a hint of jealously in the words he said.

'He's not my boyfriend Zach and I would not have kissed him.' Cammie reassured him, but he was ignoring her also.

'Oh sure, sure. Yet you danced with him and even let him feel you up.' Zach said with a dark tone.

Cammie strained her head to look round again. 'What are you talking about Zach. He didn't feel me up and I only danced with him. Last time I checked we are undercover and well he asked me to dance. You just went to his girl and fluttered your eyes, did your smirk and voila kiss, kiss bang, bang.'

'Oh my god...' Zach pained. 'I didn't kiss her love. She cornered me and then pressed her lips against mine.'

'And you let her do it. Don't pretend that you didn't enjoy it, your arms were wrapped around her,' Cammie said in a mocking, scoffing tone.

'She tricked me, I didn't allow her to do anything and no I didn't enjoy it. She tried seducing me yes, but I threw her off. She was mad also that you happened to be hitting on her husband and she felt that we two should hook up to get back at you two. You know that crazy revenge ideas women get?' Zach turned his head now and she butted her chair against his again only harder.

'We women are not crazy. We are mad at times like I am with you right now. This whole mission was a bad idea and I was most certainly not hitting on her husband. I was doing my job of getting close and finding out what he knows.'

'Oh yeah sure whatever. I saw the way he grabbed your ass on the dance floor and you didn't stop him. He does know you're married remember and yet you still let him. Not to mention you're wearing the diamond necklace tonight that he bought you.'

'Its diamonds and girl likes diamonds,' Cammie argued back. 'You still don't have an excuse.'

'Neither do you for the way you've been acting all flirty tonight. I'm surprised more guys haven't attempted to feel your ass.' He heard Cammie gasped and a heavier bump came.

'How dare you say that about me. I'm not some bimbo that looks to attract guys, unlike you who always has to impress and I'm not the one who blew our cover remember?' Cammie said raising her voice again.

'Yes you are to blame Gallagher Girl. I had worked up a trust between me and his wife..'

'By sticking your tongue in her,' Cammie butted in.

'I did not...you know what forget it because now our cover is blown and we are tied to chairs and I have to listen to you complain without the ability to cover my ears. If they plan on torturing me then having to listen to you is a great start.'

Cammie repeatedly bumped her chair against his and he returned the favour. Soon the two of them were yelling and challenging each other like young teenagers having a go at each other in a school classroom. 'Bring it Goode, I can still kick your butt tied to this chair.'

'Oh that I Have to see Gallagher Girl,' he mocked her. 'Come on then, hit me with your best shot.'

'Your so mean,' she shouted at him and continued to bump her chair against him.

'That was your best shot?' he mocked again, unimpressed.

'Well why don't you give me your best shot then?' she challenged him.

'Oh I could deliver much better shots than the one you just said.'

'I think I've heard enough of them,' said one of the henchmen guarding the two of them.

'I agree, but we can't kill them just yet.'

'We could gag them,' the first suggested and the second stopped playing with his knife to watch the young couple fight it out humorously, but annoyingly also.

'No. I think that would only encourage the female. Women hate being forced to shut up. However I'll ask politely and if they refuse, I'll knock them out.' The second stood up and walked over to both Cammie and Zach.


	2. Chapter 2

Pacing over slowly he yelled out at them, 'Hey shut it.'

Zach and Cammie stopped there bashing and turned to him, Zach fixing him with an innocent look then shrugged. Cammie however stared him down until he returned to his seat. When he did she directed her attention back to Zach.

'Don't think I'm finished Goode,' she whispered, but it was still loud enough for their watchdogs to hear.

'Wow a moment's peace and quiet ruined again.' He replied sarcastically with a low whisper.

'Well you ruined a good evening for me.' She countered.

'Yeah, but it could have been a Goode evening,' he punned.

'Full of yourself aren't you? Perhaps that's why you kissed her, thought you were all that.'

'Oh I am all that. Women find me incredibly sexy,' he turned his head and whispered to her. She turned her head also.

'Yeah, but if they only knew how bad you smell when you work up a sweat,' Cammie said cockily to offend him. _He wasn't smelly, but right now she had to win this comeback war._ 'Where I smell delightful all the time.'

Zach shocked and offended by her remark objected in a high toned voice, 'What? I do not smell,' he consciously sniffed. 'I do not smell.'

'Ha you so do. In fact you smell of hurt pride right now.' She turned back facing the wall and smiled to herself victoriously, then felt a large bump has Zach smacked the back of his chair against hers.

'That's it bring it Gallagher, I'll take you tied to this chair. You have unleashed The Goode now.' He bumped her again, but she didn't budge.

'Change that to bad. Ha' she mocked, 'My comment hit a spot and now I'm still winning so BOOM. Eat it jerk.'

'Well at least my artistic skills would have helped keep our cover longer.' He fired at her.

Cammie gasped at how low he went. 'You did not just say that?'

Knowing he hit a spot he smirked to himself and wished she could see it. 'I. Just. Did.' He emphasised.

'Well your hair is greasy.'

'You fail to shave your legs properly at home.'

'You have lady hands.'

'You drool when you sleep.'

'You got a flabby butt.'

'You have crooked toes.'

'Shut it, they're cute,' she double checked them, 'They're adorably cute.'

'Sure, sure.'

'Well you play ball like a girl,' she said referring to when he and the rest of the lads played football. Bex used to join in with them.

'Loud mouth,' he murmured.

'Oi, I'm not loud.' She yelled.

'Yet you never shut up.'

'Oh you are for it now,' she shook against her bonds and even flicked her fingers at his hands. 'Take that Goode.'

'What the heck are you doing? Honestly quit it.' He whined at her childish antics. 'Grow up,' he said aloud and even the henchmen turned shocked. There was silence and he sighed a _thank god_. He looked over to the henchmen who shook their head at him.

'Bad thing to say man, real bad,' one of them said. Cammie smacked her chair against him really hard and he groaned at the force he was shook.

'Dammit Cam!'

'Grow up? Grow up? I'll show you now Zachary Goode' she began and the two started yelling again.

The henchmen looked at each other and pondered for a moment before one got up. He had warned them. He drew his sidearm which had a silencer on it to muffle the shots if it came to that. He stepped in front of Cam and waved it at her, but instead of being silent she fixed him with a daring gaze that he was surprised and marvelled at. The woman was brave.

'Why don't you untie from this chair and fight me like a man,' Cammie said to him and he widened his eyes before laughing and turning to his mate.

'Don't entice him sweetheart,' Zach warned.

'Zip it you' she addressed Zach then turned back to the man in front of her. 'Come on then, I'll even only use one hand.' The henchman merely laughed.

'She's got balls, I'll give her that,' said the still seated henchman. 'Here use this.' He tossed him a rag and duct tape to gag her.

Cammie shook her head as he neared her and tried forcing the rag in her mouth.

'I did warn you honey,' Zach said.

Cammie mouthed out muffled words at Zach through the rag now in her mouth. Her fussing about had made the henchman drop the duct tape and when he bent down to retrieve it Cammie made her move. She kicked with her heels and connected with the side of his face. She had aimed for his temple to knock him out, but it's hard when tied to a chair. The effect was still good though and the man fell backwards stunned and knocked down. She played on the element of surprise and managed to hop forward in her chair and kick him in the groin. The other henchman was startled at first, but now began to move.

Zach strained to watch what was happening, but knew he had to do something to help her take out the second henchman. Cammie loosened her shoe swung her leg releasing her heel like a flying missile at the second guard. Even if it didn't hit, it would have the effect of making him dodge or distract him. Luckily it struck him in the throat and Zach had used that as the perfect distraction to run up and shoulder slam him into the wall before kicking out his legs then delivering a vicious knee to his face knocking him out.

The first was still down and groaning in pain with Cammie still mouthing and kicking him. Zach shook his head and walked over kicking him unconscious.

'Happy now?' he asked Cammie and she tossed her head back trying to swing her hair back.

'I will once you get me untied.' Zach raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment before smirking. Cammie caught his eye and smirk. 'Don't you dare Zachary Goode.'

 **Hey you convinced me to do another small chapter to this so here you go. Hope you enjoy it. (I'm still struggling to write comedy).  
zammiandjackunzel4evaderp** **I took your idea so I hope you like this. Thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter.  
Mel thanks as always and I'll send ye my other chapter of my Rainy series.  
Lisa, Kelly and AngelicAngel thank you for your reviews.  
Jenna98 Thanks  
Teenage Gallagher Girl Spy I'm happy it made ye smile and laugh.  
BookGuru101 :) Thanks and I like the pen name.  
Guests Thank you very much.  
** **  
I would love to hear what ye have to say about my new story. s/11283597/1/The-Tournament**


	3. Chapter 3

**For BookGuru101 and zammieandjackunzel4evaderp.**

 **A Little Tied Up... Again.**

'Well I guess you could say we are in another tight spot.' Zach said, his voice filled with humour.

Both of them were tied to chains hanging from the cave's roof, over hanging a large gaping pit that fell into the darkness below. The cave itself was very large and was underneath the palace. From the looks of its design, the cave must have been discovered during the middle ages when the crusaders had invaded the Holy Land. Modern day Israel. The old tapestries and torture devices as well as weapons were still laying around and in good condition. One of which was being put into use on them.

The chains were attached to the roof, but the thick ropes binding them were secured to circular wheels, which turned as acid drops slowly dripped onto the rope. Sooner or later one rope would give first and the helpless victim would plummet into the darkness below. This device didn't inflict pain apart from maybe straining your arms. Instead it forced you to watch your loved one or best friend die before you or vice versa. In their case though, it was not being used for interrogation, but a sick way these people could kill them.

'Oh you think,' Cammie replied raising an eyebrow at him and ignoring the humour he had intended. 'It's your fault we're stuck like this.'

'My fault?' Zach mocked in a loud toned voice which made Cammie arch her eyebrow again at him before he coughed and repeated the question.

'Very manly voice there Goode,' Cammie couldn't help smile as he turned his eyes away.

'It was for effect.'

'Clearly not the special kind,' she laughed.

'Yeah well…,' he paused trying to think.

'Well what? Hmm Zach?'

'Well if you hadn't needed rescuing then we wouldn't be in this situation,' Zach mumbled.

'So you're saying it's my fault?'

'I didn't say that. You did, but I didn't,' he huffed.

'Did you just huff at me?' Cammie asked still smiling.

'No…' Zach said after pausing to think of a comeback.

'You did,' Cammie laughed. 'Oh very masculine Goode.' Zach narrowed his eyes as her laughter echoed in the cave before she slowly stopped and faced him again.

'You done?'

'Yes I'm done,' Cammie nodded still managing a few silent giggles. 'You do know I escaped while you came to my rescue and I ended up saving your butt.' She said.

'Well yeah, but you wouldn't have escaped if I hadn't taken out the guards on the wall and I did tell you this chancellor or prince or whatever he is, was bad news. Would you listen to me? No.' Zach said staring at her.

'You said nothing of the sort. You were jealous, again I might add, at how men are attracted to me and hey he lives in a palace in a foreign country and he has tigers.' She said proudly.

'What the heck has tigers got to do with it?' Zach nearly said in his high voice again. _Damn his sore throat_ , he thought.

'Tigers are awesome. I could have been his Jasmine,' Cammie said in a day dreaming tone.

'Yeah well I was your Aladdin and I have a magic carpet along with a faithful monkey.' He boasted back with a hint of his pride being hurt.

'Carpet smarket. He has jewels.' She said with a twinkle in her eye.

'Well your Prince Charming is a crazy dictator who chained us up down here.' Zack said in a dark tone. 'I would have given you a bigger jewel.' He added

'Which is why we are stuck here now Zach. I said we should have left and told the American embassy, but no. You had to follow your stupid treasure map to find an ancient Jewel.'

'Hey first off it's, Ancient and Legendary Jewel with a capital A L and J. Second,' he paused. 'Who doesn't like adventure and a treasure hunt at that? Think of it Gallagher Girl we could have been famous and the Jewel was in a forbidden city on the way to the American Embassy. We still would have told them.' He said in a tone full of excitement.

'Yeah and we had to fight our way through booby traps only to be captured after you got your precious jewel.'

Her rope suddenly gave and she dropped a few inches and screamed. Zach yelled her name, his tone full of fear and a few seconds later he dropped a few inches also. Straining his neck carefully he turned slowly just incase the rope slackened anymore with his weight and movement. The rope was thick yes, but the acid was eating away at it. Cammie looked over at hers and sweat dripped off her forehead.

'Is this it Zach?' she spoke softly and managed a weak smile. 'Is this how we meet are end?' their eyes met and he was silent.

'You're the only jewel I ever need, you know that right?' he said equally in a soft quiet tone and he managed a weak smile in return, but it was reassuring.

 **Not as comedic perhaps but I hope you all enjoy. Sorry I haven't been updating. ENJOY**


	4. Chapter 4

_'_ _Our heroes were surrounded by nearly fifty of them. All of them armed with clubs, their faces covered by their desert robes. For a moment they looked at each other readying themselves for the coming fight. He looked into her eyes and she looked into his, words not needed to be said and then...'_

'They charged at them screaming loudly and fought them off for side by side. The kicked and punched and threw the bad guys to the desert floor and when they saw no one else standing except themselves they collapsed exhausted.' Ashley butted into her mother's story.

'Is that what happened mummy?' Daniel asked his mother with excitement. Cammie looked down at him and smiled before turning to Ashley.

'It fewer words yes, but let me continue.'

 _'_ _Our heroes did charge at them, but didn't scream. The Chameleon fought with technique and skill to account for the mob of opponents. Quick viper like reflexes and strikes that disabled her opponents quickly. Her lover with brutal effectiveness to destroy his opponents. However what you must realise is that they were competing against each other also.'_

'They were?' Daniel asked with greater enthusiasm and even sat up from his pillow. Ashley his sister sat quietly intrigued.

'Yes,' Cammie said pushing him back down onto his pillow. 'You see they were spies so they always competed who could do what better and faster. So fifty bad guys, who could take out the most quickly.'

 _'_ _Fists and legs went flying, striking with precision and effectiveness. Clubs knocked out many of their attackers, but they kept coming. Determined to capture these two American spies. These infidels who had stolen a sacred jewel from them. Little did the Chameleon know that it was her own partner who had got them into this trouble.'_

 _'_ _By the time the last one fell they were exhausted and fell to the sand not sure who had finished first. After a short break they stole two horses. Arabian black beauties that are as swift as a coursing river, as wild as the desert itself and as strong as a desert storm. Amazing creatures that could run all day, our two heroes galloped of to safety, but that is only the end of part one.'_

'Oh come on mum I haven't heard this one before,' Ashley complained.

'Yeah mum tell us more,' Daniel said sitting up again.

Cammie pushed him back down and pulled his covers over him.

'Tomorrow night sweetie, I promise. Ashley time for bed now,' she gestured with her head towards her daughter's room.

'Oh come on mum just a teaser for tomorrow night. Please.' Cammie looked at them both before nodding.

 _'_ _Well next part you will see how the Chameleon finds out why bad men are chasing them, how they are forced into a civil war against a horrible dictator and fight on the side of the rebels and how the Chameleon's lover can't ride a camel.'_

 _'_ _He kept falling off it and complaining for hours after to which event he natives laughed at him…'_

'That's not what happened Cammie.' Someone butted in again to her annoyance and she turned to see him standing in the door way with his toothbrush.

'Oh well then how did it happen?' she asked him. 'Why doesn't daddy tell us the next part of the story huh?'

He watched her smile and saw his kids bounce with excitement. Their eldest Scott even turned up at the room.

'Dad's going to tell the story, then I want to hear it too,' Scott said as he bounced on the same bed as his younger sister.

'Fine I will,' Zach said and grabbed the small desk chair, settling it down in front of the two beds.

 _'_ _Our two heroes had galloped fast and hard and now entered into an eerie canyon where unseen eyes watched them intently…'_

 **A very short addition. Sorry I've been away so long, I was on holiday and will be heading off in October to Australia to meet the parents. So good news is I might have to write quite a bit till then as I don't like doing any work whatsoever when on holiday. (Writing included). Anyway do read and let me know what ye think. ENJOY.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Blackjack**

'Ah ha, eighteen read it and weep Goode.' Cammie said flipping her cards over. She turned to Preston who in turn turned to Zach.

'Well Zach ye either hit or stay with what you got.' Preston said and already had a card waiting in his hand.

Zachary Goode stared at Cammie who was smiling at him full of confidence. He used one hand to spin his already three cards around. His narrowed on her, but she wasn't falling for his charm or intimidation this time. In fact she narrowed her eyes right back at him and pouted her lips sexily that he lost concentration.

'Nineteen,' Zach said and flipped all his cards over. Preston smiled then laughed, but Cammie let her shoulders sink and her bottom lip push out. Zach couldn't help but smile. He loved those cute expressions she did and they were quite funny also.

'How does he do it?' she asked Preston who only shrugged and mumbled a, _I don't know._ 'How do you do it?' she then asked Zach. 'That's nine straight wins in a row. I convinced he's cheating.' Cammie objected and even slapped her hand on the small table.

Zach's eyes lit up and Cammie just knew he had a cheeky comeback. 'You're welcome to search this body if you like. I'm sure your hands would do a very thorough job.' He said and smirked at her while letting his eyes give a piercing look into hers. As usual it was enough for her to blush, but she ignored the reddening of her cheeks and stared coldly back at him.

'I think you prefer if Preston frisked you more, he'd at least be gentle on your pressure points.' Cammie countered his comeback to which Preston objected.

'I'm not frisking anyone. Forget it.' He then looked at Cammie and seemed to second guess his what he said when he noticed how she looked, but then a swift kick from Zach under the table reconfirmed that he didn't want to. 'Yeah frisk yourselves, I'm dealing cards.' He said and rubbed his sore shin.

'No you're not,' Cammie quickly snatched the cards from him. 'I'm dealing and it will be done fairly. I know guy tricks. You are working together and giving him better cards.' She said and shuffled the deck.

Zach merely smiled and opened his palms as a gesture to say _fine then._ Preston however seemed insulted.

'Me cheat? As if I would. I'm all about fair play. I'm not playing with you two again if you feel that way about me.' Preston said in a slightly squeaky tone which made Zach chuckle.

'Easy there Preston, she's just teasing.'

Cammie dealt Zach and herself two cards. She looked at her own and smiled at her _King and six of clubs._ She turned to Zach who asked for a card and she hit herself one also. She looked at her cards and they added up to twenty.

'Alright Zachary Goode,' Cammie said stretching his name while shaking her body as she said it. Preston merely stared at the ceiling with his arms hanging down the side of the chair. 'Lucky number twenty. BOOM.' She said and slapped the table with both her palms lightly.

'Cammie you do know its _Lucky Number Seven_ and for twenty it's. One score, getting plenty, blind twenty.' Zach said in his best Bingo impression.

'Shut up, it's lucky for me so meh. What you got? Come on, let's see you break into…'

'Twenty one.' Zach interrupted her and flipped his cards over. Cammie double checked them and he indeed had beaten her again by one point. Cammie slumped back and moaned.

'How it this possible and why?' Cammie covered her face.

Preston stopped staring at the ceiling and took the cards back. He reshuffled the deck, but Cammie didn't seem to be in the mood to play.

'How about we up the stakes Gallagher Girl?' Zach suggested which caught Cammie's attention once again.

'Do tell.' Cammie said leaning over the table. Zach leaned over too.

'Winner gets to make the loser do anything, or give anything that they want.'

'Seems you might benefit from that more Zach. Have to make a few rules first.' Cammie suggested.

'What rules would they be Gallagher Girl? You know how much I'm always tempted to break rules anyway.' Zach lowered his tone.

'Yeah I know all too well. Something about you just being a bad boy,' Cammie said in an equally low whisper, but emphasised on the last two words which Preston caught also.

'Hey,' he objected to the two of them, lips inches apart. 'I do not want to hear your flirting or any, well whatever you call this,' he gestured with his hand. 'Clean game and no getting in each other's personal space,' he pushed them apart. 'Now behave yourselves.'

'Well Rule one would be no asking for anything naughty. Rule two no performances such as dancing and you know what type of dancing I mean Zach.'

'Anymore rules?' Zach asked her as Preston dealt them two cards each.

'Yeah, we have a right to object to any suggestion if we feel we want to.' Cammie finished and grabbed her two cards. A two of hearts and six of spades. Zach held a nine and three of diamonds.

'Hit or stay Cammie?' Preston asked.

'Hit,' Cammie said and she got a three of spades. Zach hit also and got a two of diamonds.

'Thought of what I have to give or do if you win?'

'I have.' Cammie said and a smirk etched across her face. The kind that told him she was up to something.

'What is it?' Zach asked a little worried at what it might be.

'Well I thought I give you an option. One I get your car for a month or two you let us girls have you for a month to do wish as we like. Makeover sessions and girl stuff which you must attend and partake in.' it was a direct assault on his masculine and Cammie knew he prized his car and to give it away would tell the lads he lost out to her. The girls stuff would let him keep his car, but also embarrass him in front of all the other guys. Before he could answer though Preston butted in.

'Zach give her the car. Trust me, these girls are mad when they get you to go with them. They invented their own nail polish which doesn't rub off for a week. Merciless lot they are and they love their makeover sessions. To be fair though they certainly know how to make you look good.' He nodded at Zach and it wasn't until he looked at them both he saw their questioning looks.

'Hold on,' Zach said holding up his hand and trying to hold back a laugh. 'A nail polish that doesn't rub off for a week, is that why you wore those gloves for a week when you kept avoiding coming out with the guys?' Zach burst out laughing and Preston turned red.

'No… It's not. Tell him Cam.' Cammie couldn't help, but laugh also.

'You looked so cute though with bright purple nail polish.' Zach continued laughing out loud and Preston lowered his head.

'Ok, ok. I'm done.' Zach said and asked to be hit again. Preston slid another card over. Four of diamonds bringing his total to eighteen.

Cammie hit also and got a seven of clubs bringing her total to eighteen also. She looked at Zach who seemed calm again, but a slight bead of sweat was on his forehead. Zach said he was staying and Cammie couldn't tell he was confident that he had a high number or not wanting to risk going bust. Either way the pressure now shifted to her and she didn't know what to do.

'What is your request then if I lose?' she asked him. Zach just merely smirked and leaned forward.

'I think it will be something you'll enjoy. You did enjoy it last time.' Zach hinted and Cammie raised an eyebrow trying to think.

'Perhaps you should remind me of what it is.' She teased back and leaned forward also. Preston sighed.

'I could refresh your memory, but where's the fun in just telling you outright? Besides I doubt Preston wants to hear what I have in mind.'

'I don't,' Preston said leaning in also then back out. 'Hit or stay Cammie?'

'Oh I'm sure you don't need to tell me outright. You like playing games Zach and you seem to be Goode at them. Then by all means drop me a hint and I'm sure that could help refresh my memory.' She leaned further in and their lips were partially apart. Zack could feel her warm breath and he lowered his eyes to her lips.

'Does this help?' he said and kissed her slowly and she welcomed it by returning the kiss back.

'That's it I'm done.' Preston said standing up and looking at the two of them. 'The pair of you are ridiculous. I'm done. Play yourselves you don't need me. Also give me pre warning next time you invite me. Bye Cammie, bye Zach.' Preston found his own way out and when the door closed they both pulled away from their kiss.

'Poor Preston, that was mean of you Zach.' Cammie said still close to him. Zach merely chuckled low and deeply.

'So hit or stay?' he asked her.

Cammie stared into his eyes and grabbed the top card from the pile. 'Hit,' she said then keeping the card out of his sight she looked at it. And Smirked.

 **The choice is all yours on whether who won. Hope you like it.**

 **Let me know which part you laughed at most.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Need help readers. Will you help me with my next one shot? Can any of you think of a good scene or scenario which could make a funny setting that I can write for you? I'm out of fresh ideas for the moment and I want to write more of these comedy one shots tonight and tomorrow. I do hope you are enjoying them.**

 **Drop ideas in PM or review if you wish.**


	7. Chapter 7

Vienna in the autumn is fairly cold, but tonight that wasn't the case. It was warm, but a slight chill you only felt if you stayed out more than thirty minutes. The sky was bursting with bright colours of the fireworks which mixed with the sweet smell in the air. Their loud explosions captivating many of the rich, spoiled guests at the gala. It was a night to be celebrated and enjoyed with large amounts of money being given to various charities and a new fashion line being displayed, but for two young people in particular tonight wasn't about the celebrations. In fact tonight was all about work.

'Cammie just get in will you.' Zach now said impatiently.

'Do you not know how much this dress cost?' Cammie again answered him with the same question.

'What does it matter you didn't buy it?' Zach replied with a loud whisper and spreading is arms out. Cammie's mouth dropped aghast and he knew he said something wrong.

'So what you're trying to say is that I can't afford this dress?' Again she answered with another question.

'I didn't say that, stop twisting my words.' Zach said now on the defensive.

'Why is there words to be twisted Zach?' Cammie fired another question.

'No…I don't know,' Zach shrugged and opened his palms at her. 'Stop questioning me.'

'Well then fine…you get in Zach.' Cammie gestured to the open vent. Zach chuckled and stepped back so she could get a look at him.

'I'm not getting while wearing this tux, it'll ruin it. Besides, I bought mine.' Zach defended himself. Cammie looked at his suit unimpressed.

'Oh please it is so last year that tuxedo,' Cammie huffed and Zach dropped his arms to his sides and answered her with a question.

'Did you just pull a Macey?' He didn't get an answer. 'You did. I knew it. You've been secretly hanging out with Macey lately,' Zach pointed at her to which Cammie looked up at the ceiling and didn't answer. 'Now it all makes sense why half my wardrobe was thrown out and burned.'

'Well maybe you should be a little more fashionable.' Cammie said leaning towards him and pointing back.

'I am fashionable.'

'I've seen you're wardrobe remember.'

'What's left of it you mean?' Zach fired at her with his brows furrowed.

'Yeah I improved it.'

'Did not.'

Did too.' Cammie quickly fired back.

The two of them stared each other down for a few moments before a crackle and familiar voice echoed in their ears.

'Guys I know this is my first mission and I'm only in the van doing surveillance, but don't you think this can wait until the mission is done?' Preston's voice asked softly and politely.

'For Preston's sake I will talk to you later. Now move out the way and I'll be the professional.' Zach stepped towards the vent and was about to climb in.

'Oh no you don't…' Cammie said pulling him back out. 'I'm the professional I will do it. Preston should learn from the best.'

'What happened to, _Oh no Zach I don't want to get my unaffordable dress dirty_?' Zach mocked in an imitation of her voice.

Cammie very cutely pulled her angry face that Zach just smirked at. She never could pull off the intimidating angry look. The smirk pushed her over the line and she hit him hard and he yelped.

'I'm going first.' Cammie hopped into the vent and Zach beamed a smile before climbing in after her.

'You do remember I have cameras in these lenses I'm wearing?' Cammie halted her progress. 'Yeah that's right sweetie, Preston is getting a nice view.' Zach held back the laugh so they wouldn't be exposed to any of the guards.

'You better be looking away Preston,' Cammie said with a smirk on her own face.

 **Did Cammie forget or remember the cameras?**

 **Sorry everyone who sent me their ideas and I didn't upload them yet. I will do them promise, but I'm not putting a time frame on them cause I never stick to them. Sorry also that I've been inactive for a few months or weeks I can't remember anymore. Anyway I hope you enjoy this small part and I will do a second part before I do your story request.**

 **Like, read and review cause you guys are the best readers and I love doing these comedy one shots for you.**

 **P.S Looking for a Co-Writer for a story. Message me if interested.**


	8. Chapter 8

'Ok you guys are going to take a right then another right after twenty meters.' Preston's navigation crackled through the ear pieces they had.

Cammie confirmed that they heard and then picked up her pace. Crawling through the vent had turned out to be tougher than she had expected and doing it in a dress didn't help. Well a now ruined dress. To add to the discomfort was Zach's complaining about the heat inside and how claustrophobic it felt. He wasn't wrong though, it was hot in here and she had to pace her breathing evenly as she felt shortness of air.

'I am totally Die Hard right now,' Zach breathed. 'Call me Zach McClane from now on baby.'

'I totally would have thought you would have said Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible.'

'I have his skills and looks already,' Zach scoffed. He couldn't see but Cammie had shook her head. 'Imagine if someone was to fart. The echo would alert everyone.' Cammie stopped and awkwardly tried to turn round.

'Eww…don't you dare. You're disgusting.' She whined.

'Hey I didn't say I would do it.'

'Don't,' Cammie warned and pushed off again.

The pair of them reached the exit point that was inside an office. Cammie crossed the open and took a few moment to turn around and face Zach who was already removing his small bag of screw drivers. His face was covered in sweat and Cammie wiped her own forehead.

'It is hot,' she whispered to him and he only breathed heavy in acknowledgement. It took a few minutes, but then he had removed the vent's opening and pulled the bag that he had been dragging up beside him. He removed the tools they be needing to get down and into the office's computer.

'You ready?' he said looking at Cammie. She nodded and he handed her the strap to secure around her waist. 'Perhaps it is now all Mission Impossible 'ish.' Zach joked and Cammie smirked.

Cammie got herself secure and then eased herself down through the opening.

'Good luck.'

'Don't drop me,' she replied looking at him. 'Hey Zach?' she asked and he stared into her eyes. 'I just want to say…we argue a lot on these missions together, but it's not. What I mean to say is…you know how our relationship and…' Cammie suddenly stopped and her face contorted and she sniffed. Her eyes filled with horror and she looked at Zach who was avoiding her glance and burning red. 'Zach you, oh my god you are DISGUSTING.' Cammie coughed and slapped in.

'Sorry. I think it was the shrimps I had earlier.' Zach shrugged and smiled before flapping his face with his hand.

'I think even I can smell it from inside the van,' Preston interrupted as he caught onto what had happened. 'Manners Zach and hygiene please.'

Cammie coughed one last time and zoomed down her rope as quickly as possible. Within seconds she was hanging about a foot from the desk and already hacking into the computer. A few minutes later she had everything she needed.

'Ok boys I got it. Zach pull me back up and I'm also bringing some perfume he had on his desk.'

Zach muttered something that she couldn't hear where Preston confirmed that he got the message. However instead of being hoisted back up she remained where she was.

'Zach. ZACH,' Cammie started to yell whispers. 'Zach pull me up.'

'Eh…Cam's we might have a problem. The cable seems broke. Looks like you are going to have to climb back up.' Zach echoed in her ear piece.

'Climb? You said you double checked the equipment.'

'Yeah well turns out it might be able to take your weight.'

'WHAT?' Cammie yelled regardless.

'WHAT?' Preston's voice followed with a yell of his own.

'Geez guys. You trying to make me deaf.'

'Zachary Goode you better pull up this instant or I'm going to…' Cammie was cut off as three armed men entered the room and she was helplessly left dangling. A few seconds later she fell to the floor as the rope had been cut. She landed in a push up position, but was quickly pushed onto her back by a foot and three angry Austrian men pointing guns at her.

 **Not as funny as part one, but still hope you liked it. I'll do one final part for this one later.  
Read, like, review and enjoy. ****J**


	9. Chapter 9

When Cammie was thrown in the cell she hit the floor hard, but that didn't matter as much as the foul stench that engulfed her. She'd been in one other prison before, but it had a little more class than this one. Nigerian prisons smelt like a old sewer and worse. Looking around she could see that this cell had been previously used by the pile of human waste that was in the corner. She gagged and looked away, but her sense of smell couldn't be masked and breathing though her mouth only made it worse as the heat was beyond normal. No light came into the cell, but it was dry and was as hot as hell.

The prison used to be an old fort built by some unknown French General who used it as his home for troops and to hold prisoners and the locals had called it _Hell_ and Cammie was beginning to realize just how the name was befitting. Rising to her knees she looked around her dark cell and noticed she wasn't alone. Another figure was sitting in the corner with their head down. She couldn't see their face, but realized it was a male, Caucasian and also her partner and when he looked up to her with a flashy grin she could only groan.

 _Yep. Hell._ She thought to herself.

'What are you doing here hijacking my mission Zach?' her annoyed tone echoing through the bare cell.

'Me...hijacking?' he asked back bemused. 'As if Gallagher Girl I was here first,' he said standing up on shaky legs from sitting to long.

'Not very impressive and I wouldn't boast about that,' Cammie mocked at him, but still in a friendly tone.

'You're here too genius. Was your mask the wrong colour?' he asked her in the same tone, taking a jab at her skills as the chameleon.

'No...' Cammie stretched trying to buy time and think of a good comeback. When it didn't come she chastised herself. _Way to go Cammie, great comeback. Look at him smirk now arrrghhh._

'Your talking to yourself in your head aren't you?' Zach said now grinning like an idiot.

'No...,' she stretched again. _Dammit Cammie. What the heck?_

His chuckle brought her back to the reality of their predicament. Zach trudged over slowly to sit down next to her. He grabbed her hand and she let him.

'So what's the plan Gallagher girl?' he asked genuine and to Cammie's surprise. Maturely.

'Honestly...' she looked from him to the door then back again. 'I don't know yet. You got anything?'

When he didn't say anything for a moment she was confused and then she noticed he was staring at her lips and his hands suddenly wrapped around her pulling her body across his where he gently yet so firmly kissed her hot lips. She didn't resist him and let him continue until they both needed to stop to suck in a much needed breath.

'What was that for?' Cammie asked confused, but smiling.

'Thought it'd give you inspiration,' Zach shrugged. 'Did it work?' Cammie imitated a thinking pose. Her eyes going to the corner and a finger tapping her chin.

'Maybe I need a little more inspiration,' she pushed him down and found his lips again.

 **PART 2 OF THIS WILL BE THE ESCAPE AND INTERROGATION...WHICH LEADS TO THERE ESCAPE. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. ENJOY**


	10. Chapter 10

**Zach and Cammie find themselves once again in a tight situation, but what happens when one of them needs to pee?**

"Zach? Zach…Zach?" Cammie whispered.

"What?" Zach groaned.

"I have a problem." Cammie continued to whisper.

"What?" he asked, whispering back.

"I need to pee," Cammie exclaimed quietly.

"What?" Zach asked shifting in the chair he was tied to.

"Don't you know another word besides what?" Cammie huffed.

"Yes I do." Zach answered.

"Good. I need to pee Zach."

"So go pee then." He blatantly said and he heard her sigh.

"I'm not going to pee in my underwear." She huffed again at him.

"So why are you telling me? I can't help you." He said confused.

"No, but you can ask one of the guards. Tell him I need to pee." She said.

"Tell him yourself." Zach said annoyed.

"Girls don't tell guys they need to pee." Cammie whispered with the hint of _duh_ in her tone.

"You just told me you need to pee." Zach whispered back.

"You're my boyfriend though. I can tell you things, but not strangers and especially guys when I need to pee." Cammie explained.

"You never tell me when you need to poop." Zach answered back, questioning her theory.

"Eww Zach…what the hell? That's disgusting. Why would I tell you when I need to poop? Girls don't tell guys that. Ewww Zach, gross." Cammie whined and shook her head.

"So why do I have to tell them you need to pee?" Zach asked.

"Because you're a guy duhh. Stop being difficult and tell them I need to pee." Cammie answered quietly.

"You tell them. It works in the movies all the time. If the girl asks they let her go."

"Zach this isn't a movie. Just ask them." Cammie demanded in whispered tones.

"No." Zach refused.

"Seriously? Just do it Zach, stop being difficult." Cammie complained at him.

"I'm not asking. You want to pee, you tell them." Zach huffed himself and went quiet.

"Zach? Zach? Zach stop ignoring me." Cammie kept whispering.

"Cross your legs Cammie." Zach finally whispered.

"Girls don't cross their legs Zach."

"So stick a cork in it." Zach whispered again and Cammie bumped his chair.

"Zach stop being disgusting. Ewww what the…' she banged his chair and quietly groaned at him. 'Just ask them Zach, I really need to go here." She whispered in yelling tones at him, and he could feel her lightly bouncing in the chair she was tied to. "How the hell are you keeping it in?" she asked him.

"I'm wearing the standard issue spy diapers." He answered and Cammie stopped bouncing. He heard her giggle.

"First of all, eww. Second, that is clearly so un-sexy and third. What was that Zach?" she laughed quietly.

"You think I'm joking?" he asked her.

"No. Not at all. I just know they're not spy issue,' Cammie kept laughing. "You're wearing old man diapers aren't you?"

"No…' Zach said. 'They are to standard issue."

"Sure, sure." Cammie replied sarcastically.

"Quit laughing or you will pee in your pants." Zach fired at her and she then moaned again.

"Why'd you have to remind me I needed to go? Zach tell them I need to pee." Cammie groaned at him.

"You should have worn the diapers Cammie." Zach said.

 **A/N Been a while, but I hope you enjoy. Thanks again for your support guys.**


	11. Chapter 11

"He's totally a boxers kind of guy Zach." Cammie announced randomly.

"Why am I discussing this with you? I don't care what other men wear." Zach whispered as he readied his weapon.

"Hey we girls discussed what you Blackthorne boys wore. I guessed right with you." She smirked, but Zach ignored her much to Cammie's annoyance.

"Boxers are for boys. This guy is a sophisticated criminal with high class living. Clearly not a boxers guy." Zach stated.

"I thought you don't care or think what guys wear?" Cammie asked mockingly, again Zach ignored her comment and she huffed.

"I read people better than you easily. Just stating the obvious Cam's which you missed. If I'm wrong I'd paint my car pink and drive round in it for a week." Zach turned to her and missed her look directed at him.

"Drop the weapon or I'll drop you like a bad habit." Zach yelled as he burst through the door and pointed his gun at Vladimir. Likewise Cammie had also drawn her sidearm and pointed it at him. He and Cammie had been working together to track him down. It had been their first assignment together since their odd break-up three months ago.

Vladimir shifted his eyes between the two and the computer he was using to steal valuable US Intel from. He gripped the pistol tightly, but before he dropped it Cammie cut in.

"Oh please don't listen to him." She scoffed and rolled her eyes at Zach.

"What?' Zach turned his eyes to her then back to Vladimir. "No do as I say or else…"

"Ignore him Vladimir he's lying. He won't drop you like a bad habit." Cammie shook her head, but kept her gun trained on him. Vladimir remained still unsure what to do.

"Yes I will." Zach defended.

"He won't." Cammie replied.

"It's a saying Cammie. You say sayings." Zach explained to his annoyance.

"Well it's a stupid saying for you to use. A bad habit is smoking or biting your nails or something. My point is you need a bad habit to drop. You should have said, _I'll drop you like I do a serious relationship._ " Cammie imitated.

"Oh so that's what this is about? Now we're getting to the source of your attitude." Zach said.

"Pssh…I don't have an attitude."

"Yes you do and frankly I'm quite sick of it." Zach lowered his gun and turned on Cammie when he saw Vladimir move slightly the gun was up again, his arm swift like a snake's strike.

"I didn't take you for the diva type Zach."

"Hey no taking shots at my macho-ness."

"Ohh… too late cause I just dropped a bomb,' Cammie spun and did a gangsta hand drop. "On your macho temple." Cammie flipped her hair to one side for effect. Zach arched an eyebrow.

"Seriously work on your comebacks Gallagher Girl they're getting more painful to hear than a gunshot wound."

"I don't hear you coming up with smart remarks."

"Perhaps I'm growing up." Zach remarked and Cammie's eyes targeted in on him.

"I don't think that was wise words American." Vladimir inputted and watched as the couple both shot at his feet making him yelp. "Ok sorry." He apologised.

"You watch yourself Blackthorne boy." Cammie warned him and Zach took a step back nervously.

"I'm sorry." He said sheepishly. "Perhaps we need to talk." Zach suggested and Cammie nodded.

"Yes we do." Cammie agreed.

"Over dinner?"

"Charm me first Agent Goode," Cammie said with a blush and a smile which made him smile in return.

"So does this mean you're back together or something?" Vladimir cut in.

"Drop the weapon." Zach said.

"Drop your pants." Cammie said in unison with Zach's order. Zach and Vladimir turned to her confused.

"What?' Cammie shrugged. "I want to win the bet." She smiled and Zach began to sweat.


	12. Chapter 12

"Zach you are a highly trained operative. Tasked with deciphering codes, planting demolitions, defusing bombs, expert in combat and firearm skills,' Cammie stopped to take a breath. "Trained to work under pressure, rained to process large amounts of information and memorise it and yet you can't do the cup challenge?" Cammie rambled on.

"It's a complicated algorithm Gallagher Girl,' Zach objected has he stared at the upturned cup in front of him. 'It requires a great skill in understanding music."

"It requires only rhythm and hand co-ordination,' Cammie said huffing and pulling the cup towards her. 'Watch again."

Cammie proceeded to show him for the fourth time how the cup song is done, but instead of watching her hands he could only look at her face and beautiful singing voice. Everything about her was beautiful to him. He even stepped a little back to double check her figure. _Oh yeah she had the assets_ he thought to himself.

"Now there." Cammie said and turned towards him sharply only to find his eyes were looking down and now glanced to her chest. If he looked up he'd notice her eyes burning into him and hear her foot tapping. He sat down and tried again only to fail.

"Forget it,' Zach exasperated from trying. "This is just dumb and for what reason do I need to learn this?" He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms and sulked away.

"Aww boo boo,' Cammie pouted at him and rubbed his forearm. She couldn't hide the smile etched on her face though and it annoyed him even more. "Do you want tickles to cheer you up?" Cammie wiggled her fingers at him and he became alarmed.

"You're enjoying this too much Gallagher Girl.' He mumbled. He watched Cammie snicker at him and her eyes filled with mischievousness as her fingers wiggle closer. "Don't Cammie." Zach warned, but Cammie feigned an attack and he collapsed backwards out the chair.

Zach quickly recovered himself, but Cammie was already in fits of laughter. She squeaked out weird noises trying to form a sentence, but her giggles overtook all attempts at speaking.

"You done?" Zach managed to ask after five minutes.

"Yes…yes I am. Ohh." Cammie nodded and composed herself. She lifted the cup and gestured towards him with a smile. "Want to try again there super spy?" She asked.

Zach looked at the stupid cup and slapped it gently out her hand with a swift wave of his hand. Cammie jumped in surprise as the cup clattered across the kitchen floor.

"What was that?" they heard Rachel call out to them from the living room.

"Nothing mum,' Cammie called back and glared daggers at Zach. "Idiot." She joked.

"I didn't hear your mum return from the store." Zach said looking in the direction of the living room.

"She didn't go out Zach." Cammie said and gestured at him with her hand.

"Damn. I really got to pay attention more in class." Zach said aloud to himself.

"Ya think."

"Ok fine,' Zach pulled his chair closer to Cammie and pulled another plastic cup from the deck in front of them. "Let's see if I can do this. Sing the song I'll follow along."

Cammie sang the lyrics and was astonished how he perfected the cup routine this time. Not believing what she had seen they did it two more times with the same result and then it occurred to her what he'd been doing all this time.

"You've been messing with me." Cammie deduced and challenged him.

Zach simply turned towards her and slowly smirked.

 **A friend requested this to me months ago back when I asked everyone to message me story ideas. I apologise for only getting to it now but here it is and I hope you enjoy it.**


	13. Chapter 13

It was late by the time Cammie managed to get home. Her body a little tense from the rough flight home, followed by an hour long car ride where no one talked and the three hour debrief she had to give. The past twenty four hours had been long and she'd not had the chance to grab a shower or change her clothes. To her annoyance the CIA had grounded her or rather put her on desk work until the pending investigation was clear. Normally she would have been suspended, but she wanted to work so she could keep a close eye on the investigation personally. They did allow her forty eight hours to herself.

Closing the door slowly behind her she double locked it and then turned around. She scanned the darkened room looking at things she barely scarcely remembered using. She'd bought the apartment two years ago and had spent less than a year in it, four months away on this trip and coming home everything looked brand new. Cammie rested her body against the door and didn't even attempt at turning on the light. She welcomed the silence that the dark brought. A full moon gave a pool of light that spread across the centre of her living room.

Cammie finally found some reserve energy in her legs to cross her apartment and very awkwardly head to her iPod as she undressed. When she managed to reach her iPod she was already naked and standing on her toes to select one of her playlists, she hit shuffle and closed her eyes. Letting herself immerse in the music. Slowly her body started to sway to _Take My Breath Away by Berlin_. It might have just been the song, but her thoughts were soon filled with memories of long nights. Nights of sweet kisses, of warm hands, cool air filling her lungs, of heated passion and green eyes.

By the time the chorus came she had danced her way into her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed. There she lay until the song finished, her hair spilled out wildly, her legs dangling over the edge, her smooth back feeling the cool Egyptian cotton embrace her. There was a few seconds of silence that felt long enough for her to quickly jump into her shower. The song repeated to play while Cammie basked in the hot steamy water.

The song had played several times by the time she got out and dried herself off. Wrapping her white robe around her she skipped into the living room to turn off repeat, but a knock on the door stopped her. It was a specific knock so she knew it was one of her friends. Dodging her furniture she unlocked her door and opened it wide just as the song restarted and a tall figure with green eyes stood on the opposite side.

Immediately her body flushed with a different heat and she smiled warmly at him. Zach returned the smile and took slow steps towards her. Cammie backed off, matching his steps until he entered her apartment. When he shut the door she took two steps towards him and Cammie let him pull her robe open. His hands dipped inside and wrapped around her lower back, gently pulling her up to her toes as he leaned down to kiss her lips.

The chorus boomed out as they held each other close and their lips forever kissing. With the palms of her hands she pushed his leather jacket off, which fell to a heap at their feet. Her robe fell off her left shoulder and one of his hands caressed her neck and face. Keeping her eyes closed an explosion of the song filled her head and her memories were becoming a reality. He was here now. He was here for her.

Somewhere amongst her longing for this he had carried her back to her room and she found herself back on her bed. Finally opening her eyes she saw he was topless. His body exposed to the bright moonlight and she leaned up. Her arms and body gracefully slipping out of her robe. Her hands glided up his torso and wrapped around his neck, pulling him down towards her lips once again, only this time he diverted to her neck and shoulders. Gasping out she felt his weight press onto her bed and with a single arm he pulled her further up towards the comfort of her pillows. Her legs voluntarily spread for him to press in-between and his green eyes enlightened.

Soon she found their movements in sync with the rhythm of the song. The chorus played through the darkened moonlit apartment, out into the hallway, across the floor, down the empty staircase and throughout the building. It slowly faded away only to replay once again.

 **This was my first attempt at inputting a song with the story. It took me a LOT of rewrites to do and it was a request from zachgoodet. There is some M themes, but nothing weird. If you don't like it or it's too much M then I apologise. M writing is something I try very hard to avoid.**


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